MagmaDanger
3/5
Hazard class 5Our flagship. Do not inject. We have to say that. Do not inject.
Danger levelDo not inject (we mean it)
96%
saw a visible difference in something
7
of 40 participants still reachable
0
dermatologists consulted
Known side effects
EruptionA documentary crewRadiance (literal)
The trial was halted, then resumed, then relocated underground. Results not reviewed by any authority, living or otherwise.
Pairs dangerously well with
Magma
MagmaDanger
3/5
AlienDanger
3/5
Black HoleDanger
4/5
Survivor testimony
4.2 / 5 · 125 reports filed
★★★★☆
“Now I glow in photos”
And in the dark. And on airport scanners. Minus one star for the scanners.
Dmitri, age unclear · Verified-ish
★★☆☆☆
“Satisfaction not guaranteed — confirmed”
They warned me. I respect the honesty. Two stars, both for honesty.
Marcus T. · Verified-ish
★★★★★
“I look 87 now”
An entire year, gone. Remarkable. The neighbours are suspicious.
Grandma Oksana, 88 · Verified-ish